Chapter II

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y eyes can barely stay open, as I muster the last of my energy to gaze upon the miracle in front of me. He’s small, scrunched up, and pasty all over. “A healthy little boy, do you want to hold him?” the nurse asks.
“I… I…” I drift asleep.
Once awake with some energy back in my body I glance at Life itself in a newly birthed form. He’s the most amazing creation I’ve ever seen. There is nothing like the over‐ whelming feeling of unconditional love for another human being. I had witnessed love from different perspectives in my eighteen years of life; however, nothing could prepare me for the love and nurturing I feel for a child I gave birth to. I swear to protect this child from any harm from this world.

In the evenings I sing sweet hymnal lullabies and pray over his tiny body. “Dear God, protect my son always.

“Please don’t ever leave his side and if anything should happen, take me instead.”

Every night I watch my son fall asleep and kiss on his fluffy cheeks “goodnight.” Raymond and I look at each other with a tender glance as if we were in agreement that we both had “done it;” we made Love, our son Keme was born.
But that feeling of tenderness between Raymond and I doesn’t last.
A few days after Keme’s first birthday, Raymond drops this on me: “I’m not in love with you anymore.”
Did I just hear what I think I heard coming out of my husband’s mouth?

“I don’t understand. What do you mean, you don’t love me?” My young 20-year-old voice shakes as I wait for a reply. He stands six feet tall in the doorway, wearing a plain white tank top and black khaki pants and even after two years Raymond’s green eyes still have a way of dominating my soul. However, something isn’t right on his face. He looks like a young man confused about which direction to turn at a four-way intersection of a dirt road in the middle of the Kentucky plains. I scrounge around everywhere in my mind for the words to say that will keep him from walking out that door.

“You don’t mean that, Raymond,” I plead. “You just told me I was your ‘Heart’ last night! I think you’re confused. We’re both confused. We can get through this together.”

“I’m sorry. I just don’t… I’ll be back for my things later.” He turns and walks away.

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Entrepreneur / Author / Yogini

Helen Edwards – Movement Speaker, Collaborator, Event Creator, Yogini and International Author of, Nothing Sexier Than Freedom & Your Inner Evolution. Co-creator and leader of four successful Yoga Retreats. Helen has taught life skills, networking, and conscious behavior classes in shelters since 2008. She has a background as a Vision Therapist and working with kids with autism. She has worked with the Phoenix- Prison Yoga Project (PYP) working with incarcerated adults and teens. Entrepreneur of Sexy Freedom Media and host to the Sexy Freedom Media Podcast. It is her true desire to provide affordable and life shifting workshops, events, and retreats for both women and men to free themselves from other people’s opinions, self judgments, self-neglect and provide them with basic tools to utilize for conscious evolution, courage, and self-love. Helen is truly an authentic being, a wild woman, an example of raw voice, and a mother of an incredible young airman. She is a Universe, Nature, & Brain /Body forever student, currently a nomad based in Phoenix, AZ with her laptop, Spike and Scion, Chico.